In theory, I respect your right to exist . . .

There were a few interesting things in the paper today. There was an article about the Large Hadron Collider (definitely not the Large Hardon Collider, which is something completely different), which apparently accelerates protons until the have the energy of speeding trains. Unless it doesn't. A shame, really, as with several million collisions a second that would make Southern Europe a very entertaining place. There's also a link in there to a typically fuckwitted column by that twat Melanie Phillips. I can explain why the bit about evolution is beyond idiotic if anyone wants . . .

There was also an article about some British soldiers shooting dead a white Rhinoceros - but in self-defence, of course! ("It's coming right at us!") The article finished with the wonderful line "In Kenya, the number of black and white rhino has stabilised at about 650" - which has just got to be the biggest (and heaviest) Minstrel Show on record. Someone call Norris McWhirter.

Oh. He's dead. Never mind, then.

People are still talking about Milton F's life and death. This article points out that even his fans generally follow Keynesian ideas when there's real money involved. It mentions something that doesn't get pointed out much anymore, too - the first Thatcher government presided over 20% inflation and the biggest slump since the 1930s [ . . . ] Monetarism was abandoned in 1986, between the first Tory recession and the wild Lawson boom of 1988. I saw a very nice summary of some figures about Thaggie's terms of office once. In terms of economic development, they weren't much better in many ways than Callaghan's term before her (which was and is generally regarded as fairly grim) and in some ways they were worse.

This article chronicled the week of a man dressed as Pudsey, the jaundiced and optically-wounded mascot of Children in Need. He had an eventful Tuesday, it seems :

Attacked by scallies in Bradford. It started with a young member of the crew cycling behind me and bashing my massive head. He brought along some of his mates and they started trying to steal my head. "Show us your face or I'll fucking knock you out," was one of the string of threats hurled at poor Pudsey. They were my age, 18 or 19, so it was a fair fight. I hit one guy and put another in a headlock before making a hasty retreat.

So there are now two teenage neds who've been beaten up by a Teddy-Bear. They aren't going to live that one down in a hurry.

Edible cotton? I swear I saw a reference to this, But I'm going no further. Goddamn preverts.

Was Freddie Mercury really a time-travelling serial killer?

Gigantor went rather well. The turnout was about usual, I think . . . but I don't know how many that is. As usual, about ten or eleven I was despairing of anyone being there and deciding that I should give up on something I'm obviously not much good at any more, but in due course, they came, they heard and they danced. A fair number of them even stayed right to the end, which by the usual definition means that they won. Ah well. Maybe next time. The playlist is here. Complaints to the usual address, please.

Jarvis' new album ("The Jarvis Cocker Record") is very good. One song in particular stands out. At a rough guess it will continue to not get much radio play, which is a crying shame as it's brilliant. If you don't know what I'm talking about try here. Warning : not really worksafe for most business environments, and may contain scenes of extreme spite and resentment.

The mighty Biscuit were very good on Wednesday. Starting with Vatican Broadside shows some extreme level of confidence, and it was justified - they're hardly recognisable as the same band that put on a series of lacklustre gigs in the early to mid-nineties. 24-Hour Garage People is still getting sillier - Nigel had brought along a cassette of snippets from MOR hits to illustrate what the sales assistant had on his mp3 player (We Built This City was among them, and so was something late-nineties accompanied by the comment "This is him trying to be up-to-date"). I have a story about that song and the trip back from a Puressence gig. Another time, perhaps. Or ask me when you see me.

I asked a couple of years ago why there's not a band called Mexican Shitbath. There still doesn't seem to be.
  • Current Location: the boxroom
  • Current Mood: awake
  • Current Music: Jarvis - Cunts are still running the world
Thank you. Hopefully I'll be able to entertain you again soon.

Now, let's see. I was responsible for Jarvis, Ramones, Firewater through to World Dom Ents, Barnes & Barnes, Pulp, Garbage, Long Blondes and Stranglers, Weird Al to Covenant except the Placebo, Muhoney, Rammstein, Levellers, Skeletones and Sisters, as I recall. Lara and Seth did the rest.
Melanie Phillips
She's not called Mad Mel for nothing. I only read her for humour these days.
The Melanie Phillips evolution bit nearly made me foam at the mouth until I got a grip and pressed the 'back' button.
Very wise. I did start to wonder whether she's doing it on purpose, but then I've met people in the flesh who are that bizarre.

Actually, I got sincerely accused of being a replicant yesterday. But that was a bit different.
here was also an article about some British soldiers shooting dead a white Rhinoceros - but in self-defence, of course! ("It's coming right at us!")

That's exactly what I thought, word for word. Aren't rhinos meant to be fairly peaceable creatures unless bothered? That said a friend of mine spent four hours up a tree on the Serengeti because a rhino was grumbling down below, but it might have had something to do with a hoarde of American tourists snapping pictures of him.

I'm really looking forward to getting the Jarvis album, I've read a few reviews that appear to think it's the cat's pyjamas, but I've been somewhat worried it'll be like recycled Pulp.
Aren't rhinos meant to be fairly peaceable creatures unless bothered?

Yes, but it's surprising the things that annoy them. They were probably sat in his favourite armchair.
Are all Melanies twats? My experience (except for one) seems to point in that direction.
I think I've only met two, and one was thirty years ago. Not a common name in these parts. Both OK, though, so I'm not going to let her off that easily.
From the Mel Phillips article: It does not explain the irreduceable complexity of certain cells for example, which cannot have been formed by simple organisms coming together.

What the hell is she referring to?

Irreducible complexity?

It's the argument that it's impossible to build arches because they don't work at all until all the pieces are in place. That's why you'll never see an arch in use in the real world.
> deciding that I should give up on something I'm obviously not much good at any more

One of the mob I dragged along was saying it was great to hear proper music again.
And there's talk of dragging some Glasgow goths along next time as well.
Lara and Seth did specifically manufacture a batch of Glaswegian-vampire repellents, so I guess we'll be safe.
Yes, I should like to complain about the Fish heads song. And also request a copy.

Too many points to mention in detail here but I enjoyed this post. Is that strange?
A little bit odd, but not in itself reprehensible. Consult your priest, moral philosopher or other ethical adviser for guidelines on best practice.
*scrolls to evolution bit*

Yup, that's clueless.

*stalks off to find stain-remover that will remove the taint of idiocy from brain*
There's a spray you can buy to get rid of cat-piss - I'm told that works quite well.